Hello. This is the beginning of my blog. I joined the Gaia community because I love what it stands for. It feels like a place for people to come and share their various beliefs while striving to reach for something more from the world they've created for themselves.

With that being said, I don't have any particular theme for this blog. Some people blog to talk about current events, some to share their life experiences, and others just need a place to vent. For my blog, I've decided to just write whatever topic I feel like writing about. One thing I will not be writing about is my life (I have an online journal for that ^.^), so my topics will range from ideas/theories about life, opinions/beliefs, spiritual concepts, and possibly reflections on politics or current events (although I think there are already plenty of people blogging about those...).

Most will probably say that my opinions and beliefs (esp. my spiritual beliefs...) are kind of "out there" and "screwy". My hope is not to dwell on what has already been said, but to create information that hasn't been thought about very much. Although it's hard to say that anything can truely be original nowadays, I try my best to think differently and to not be afraid to explore new realms of thought (have I lost you? I think I've started to ramble).

I've come up with some statistics about what someone will probably feel when they read my blog:

60% of people will think I'm stupid or nuts (I prefer they think I'm nuts)
40% of people will get angry because they completely disagree and will spend 20min writing me a lengthy reply
8% of people will dismiss this blog and forget they ever saw it
2% of people will find insight and will view an aspect of life differently. Basically, I will have given them something to think about.

My goal for writing this blog is to reach the 2% of people that will be challenged to think differently about something, and possibly give me something in return to think about. That's what life is: thinking! And yet I believe we have lost our grasp on it in our current times.

That was the intro to my blog. I hope to write a new entry every week, so check back soon :)

After writing my introductory blog entry, I was looking around the site and saw a link for a Gaia scholarship. I thought, "Why not? Maybe I'll end up getting some extra money for school, and at least I'll have something to post!" :)

So here are my silly answers to their three scholarship questions:

What is your purpose?
I believe I am in this world to dream, to create, and to challenge conventional ways of thinking.

What do you love, and how do (or will) your actions demonstrate this?
I care the most about experiencing life. I love being alive in times of awakening and change; when we can challenge ourselves to reach for something greater. Certain ancient spiritual wisdoms say that in order to find peace, to become one with all that is, your have to let go of all physical needs and desires and connect with what lies beyond the physical realm. My belief is the opposite. Only through loving life and living with an awareness that connects us to Earth's spirit, relishing in the physical, can we form the ultimate connection and experience harmony.

I strive to find new insights within each day that I live. When an idea comes into my head, I think on it and write it down. Then I share my idea with those closest to me or post it across the internet.

What I most enjoy doing is creating, especially when it is in an artistic medium like writing or art. If I can influence others through my work to think differently and challenge themselves, then I know I will have fulfilled my purpose.

Write your ideal job description (if you could get paid to do anything):

My days would be spent bringing the ideas in my head to life. There are so many things I want to make- stories, books, essays, movies, art- and I know my life would be complete if every day I could swim in their creation.

I would travel the world, taking in different cultures and landscapes, and then return home with beliefs to bring me growth. I would weave these beliefs into everything I create, and then my creations would spring into society and take flight.

My ideal job would create happiness. I would be fulfilled, and people who saw my work might find inspiration and comfort.

I love the concept of time because it is so perplexing, interesting, and confusing all at once. We have our ways of "keeping" time, our scientific theories, our philosophical theories, what spiritual texts tell us- so many different ways of viewing time. Anyway, I'm not trying to discuss all the theories about time, but, rather, talk about what my concept of time is. Anything outside the ideas of time we've built for ourselves (the sun goes up, the sun goes down- we have a past, present, and future that are separate from each other, etc.) is hard to grasp, but I'm going to offer the symbolism I came up with and you can see what you think.

One of the first "spiritual" concepts of time that I read about talked about all time existing simultaneously and that time doesn't move, we are the ones that move through it. The symbol given for it was a stack of papers. Each paper represents a single moment, and the papers stacked on top of each other symbolize time. If all instances in time play themselves out all at once, stacked on top of each other, could we classify a past, present, and future? This is where the idea of the stacks of paper gets iffy- because you could say that the pages could be numbered and stacked in a specific order. But, then again, they are still existing at the same time, occupying the same space, and not one of those papers is being shown ahead of another.

Confusing? It took me awhile to grasp it, too!

Because of the way time exists, there can't be such a thing as a "past" life- because it implies that something came before and something will come last. Going back to the stacks of paper, and viewing time as "simultaneous", each of our past lives can be represented by a single sheet. They are all happening at once because we are multi-dimensional. Being in the physical world makes is easy for us to view life in constraints because the human body is similar to a cage. Does that mean a part of us can't be somewhere else at the same time? No! When you read a book, and you're reading page 7, does that mean the rest of the pages don't exist because you're only focusing on one page? So my idea of this is that all of our lives happen all at once, we are simply focusing on one single life, concentrating our awareness to one time frame, for the purpose of learning whatever we need to learn.

We tend to think linear- that everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That when you learn something, you are more knowledgeable and cannot possibly revert back to "not knowing" about it. However, we can forget. Just because I am wise like Buddha in one lifetime, does not mean I cannot choose to forget and become simple-minded and hateful in a "future" lifetime. How would is be possible, then, to have a "past" life?

Here is my symbol that helped me realize the concept of time: a video game. Yes, I love playing them and, yes, they are great symbols! I believe there is a lot of truth to the idea "so within, so without". We've created a lot of physical things that represent hidden spiritual truths. To me, video games symbolize time. Time exists all at once, the same way a complete video game exists all at once on a disc. A lot of video games have levels. So you start out at level one and your character is dumb (it knows nothing of what is going on) and weak (it easily gets killed and/or can't do very many things). But, just because you are on level one, does that mean the last level isn't on the disc at the same time? So you play the game and advance, getting smarter, stronger, and closer to the end of the game. Once you've beaten the game, everything is unlocked and you are now free to go anywhere in the game if you want, even back to level one. Same as time. Once you've realized what time is, and have the skill to move through it, you can go anywhere, to any level and time, even if it's to a place where you were "weaker".

The great thing about video games is that if you fail, you can go back and redo it. If time is simultaneous, why couldn't you go back and re-live a life time to get a better outcome? On a video game disc, all outcomes exist at the same time, how you play determines where you end up. And you can always go back and play through a different outcome. Time holds the same wonder. All possible outcomes of any given action or thought exist all at once, and you decide which outcome you want to play through.

Time is stagnant, like an infinite road. It contains all that is in one single moment. We move through time based on where we are focusing our awareness, or, rather, our consciousness.

Time is that beautiful thing that gives us our endless possibilities.

Don't get me started on this topic because I could go on for hours!

The main thing I would say that a leader needs to posses: the ability to guide others so that they will learn to lead themselves.

In America (okay, I'll say the majority of the world as well), we have a culture based on power: "You give me the keys to the car, then shut up and I'll tell you where you want to go." Everything within this structure is about our "leaders" holding onto power, and then using whatever means possible to convince their followers that what they want is actually what the followers really want as well (so, basically, the leaders say, "This is what I want. You want it too, you just don't realize it.").

The funny thing about all of this is: WE LET THEM CONVINCE US.

I would say that someone we call a teacher actually embodies what a true leader needs to posses. They see the big picture and pass on that knowledge. Teachers don't try to keep power over the students by giving them bits and pieces of the lecture- they lead students to find their own power. Can you imagine a math teacher saying, "Okay. Here's the problem and the solution written on the board. Copy it down because that will be on the quiz. I'm not going to teach you how to solve the problem, but I'll instruct you how to copy the answers so you pass the test. Just go along with what I say, come to class, and everything will end up all right."

Leaders need to listen to ALL sides of a situation and NEVER take a side. Leaders need to realize their weaknesses, admit them openly, and show that they are striving to improve themselves like the rest of us. Leaders need compassion and the realization that their way will NOT be the right way to their enemies. Leaders need to empower.

Do we have any real leaders left in the world? If we do, I could probably count them on my fingers.

we ARE god. The question is: Do you believe in yourself? What I mean when I said we ARE god is just that- WE ARE god. God isn't some supreme being sitting in the clouds passing judgement, or some holy being that lives in constant nirvana. We've lost our way so deeply that we see god as something seperate- and then when we do say the term "god is everything" we still leave ourselves out of the equation. How could god be everything, and yet not a killer? not us? How can god be all you see but somehow god is only goodness and not evil as well? How can god be all powerful, and yet we are not? That's why I ask: Do you believe in yourself? We're all puzzle pieces of the same puzzle. But because we're a piece, does that make us any less deserving or powerful as the puzzle as a whole? Because a puzzle is only the sum of its pieces. Think about it: YOU ARE GOD. I AM GOD. WE ARE GOD. god is the goodness AND the evil in the world. We've fragmented ourself, throwing our consciousness into tiny pieces so that we may some day look back on all the bits as a whole and say: Yes, YES! so this is what I am! This is what god is. Any words YOU will ever say are words of god. Any action that's ever done IS the will of god, even if we judge that action as evil. god IS goodness and GOD IS EVIL as well. Think about it. There's NO other way life could exist since god is EVERYTHING. we ARE god. DO you believe in yourself?